– – – Last updated: June 12, 2011 – – –
I grew up in a Christian home, and was more or less the rebel of the family. In my teens I became a drug addict and had several run ins with the law. At the age of 17 I made a confession of faith, but it was short lived. I left home and quickly became a partier and even heavier drug addict.
At the age of 20, my son Ethan was conceived, then born in November of 2007. It was at this time that God really started asking me to take a serious look at where I was headed, as I was only living for the moment and myself. I had a great career and was making ridiculous money. It was almost a year after Ethan’s birth that I got some Christian counseling and was able to start getting my life turned around.
Not long after my son was born I went through a trying and nasty custody battle. For two and a half years God allowed me to be broken down, exposed to the world, and exposed to His mercy and grace. It was nothing short of a miracle that I was allowed joint legal custody of my son, and today I have fairly good relationship with his mother, who is now married, and a very special bond with my son.
During that time of “break down” God sought to destroy my self-confidence, selfishness, pride, and arrogance. I was stripped of self made dignity, and learned that without the love of Christ in my life I was nothing. In October of 2009, I went through a life altering conference called The Crossroads Great Banquet. It was there that I rededicated my life fully to Christ and started the rejuvenation of a solid Christian walk. It was not easy, and did not take place over night. Since that October, God has taught me that He alone is my portion, my provider, my best friend, and my complete joy. I have been able to serve on team at another Great Banquet, work with teen guys in a youth group, and participate in outreach to the homeless.
There have been many mountain tops and valleys I have been through since October of 2009. I have messed up, made serious mistakes, and let God down. Without fail He has continued to restore, heal, and pick me back up!
Very recently I finished reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I became even more aware of my purpose in life to serve God, and have an aching desire to do so full time. Through several providential situations, a couple miracles, and some heavy prodding from the hand of God, I have abandoned all selfish ambitions and desires. My new life goals are far from financial security, a cozy home, and an easy American life. My passion and desire is to love, serve, and bless others with the talents, skills, and life lessons God has given me. It is almost impossible for me to express the full transformation of mind and attitude I have been given. I have the skills and abilities to have an amazing job, making good money, but I do not want that.
I am looking for the fulfilling calling that God has for my life, serving others. Jesus has served and blessed me time and time again. It is by His mercy I am still alive. Even the mistakes I have made have become blessings. For instance, my son, conceived and born out of wedlock. I have paid grave consequences for that, yet without his entrance into this world, I would most likely be dead. The destructive path I was walking was for myself. Ethan gave me the awareness that there was more to life than just me, resulting in my embracing change and the healing of Christ.
When it comes to the testimony of Jesus Christ in my life, there are no boundaries, no room for holding back to protect against personal embarrassment. My dream is to tell the world what Christ has done for me, how He has delivered me, and how He has full Lordship in my life. I continue to be stretched, challenged, and pursued by Him daily. I am far from perfection. The only reward I want, is to stand before the Judgement Seat of Christ and hear Him say, “Well, you had 20-something years of failure and hard knocks, but you used the rest of your life serving, loving, and living Me. Enter into my place of rest son, you are truly mine, and I love you.”
June 5th of 2011, I took a gigantic leap of faith and moved out to Colorado with next to no money, few possessions, and leaving behind a house and everything I knew. It has been amazing to watch how God has paved the way for me, allowed providential circumstances to encourage me, and even used some very personal challenges to assure me that He has the best future I could ever dream of in store for me.
My stance on life is that without God we are truly nothing. To live a life of joy and fulfillment we must give up everything we call comfortable and follow Him with no reservations.
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