Here we are now in the middle of August and it has been weeks since I have posted. Particularly the past two weeks have been a very dark time for me. It feels strange finally putting into writing the thoughts that have been encompassing my mind all day. Today especially has been different, but I cannot explain how. It’s like I got a glimpse of clarity that I was not expecting.
In this time of darkness I have really struggled to see God moving around me. No matter how hard I have prayed or attempted to have a conversation with God, it did not feel right. This past Sunday was my biggest breakthrough. I attended a new church called Denver United Church, not very far from my house. I know someone who attends there who has been trying to get me there to check it out since I came to Denver. Time has just simply not allowed. The service we attended was odd, because there was no real service, it was more of a review of where the church had come from and where they were headed. It was their three year anniversary.
Despite that fact, the worship service is what grabbed my attention. They sang some songs that had some powerful lyrics. I really had to stop singing during one of them and start praying. The movement of the Spirit I felt was intense and he was trying to get my attention.
Since Sunday, I have struggled still, but today was different. I took some headphones and listened to all the David Crowder Band CDs as I was working. It was a good time, helped the morning go fast, and I really felt God speaking to my heart through it.
If I convey nothing else through this post, I want to clearly enunciate that God is faithful, even when we do not feel him there. He has promised to never leave or forsake us. I have a feeling that in the next few months a lot is going to happen.
I want to write again soon, but it may not be for a little while again. This weekend I am taking a much needed trip way up into the mountains. All next week work will be insane, and next weekend I head to Indy to see my wonderful little guy and attend my sister’s wedding.
Please keep me in your prayers. I have seen lately that God has so much more to do in my life, and some more stretching that needs to be done. There are situations that I need to let go of, and new discoveries to embrace. I do not do well with change. The need to draw closer to God is gnawing at me the most though.