As I drove up state road 85 north of Denver, I suddenly jolted awake for the thousandth time. It has been a long time since I have taken pain killers and relaxers. The relaxers in particular make me so tired. Tonight I was smart and took them earlier, so hopefully by 3:45am they will have worn off. My Bubba thermos was full of about 8 cups of coffee, but it did not seem to help me at all on my drive to work. Making it to work was a huge relief, and I was thankful for being 20 minutes early! Just enough time to take a power nap!
One thought never left my mind, even as I was dozing off: God is watching over me and I am in His hand. Now I do not want to freak anyone out, and it COULD have just been my tired mind playing tricks on me, but I swear that one of the times I actually lifted my head up, I saw a huge hand let go of my steering wheel and disappear. I have no idea how long my eyes were shut that time, but after noticing the “hand,” I also noticed my car was still headed in a perfectly straight line. I am a firm believer in angels, and this may or may not have been supernatural, but it is enough to get me thinking.
I have had a great number of people constantly keep telling me that God has a very special plan for my life in Colorado. They assure me that He would not have brought me this far, especially the way He did, just to let me fail and despair. Him and I have been wrestling with the “next step” lately. He seems to be telling me to wait and be patient, but I am terrible at both. *laughs*
My soul is hungry. To me that is a huge indication that I am on the right track. I cannot get enough time alone with God, and I hate that I have such a short time to read His word in the morning. That is NOT the Dave I know. To me that is affirmation of the road I’m on.
Here is another thought that has really been hitting me hard. I am a single dad. Last Sunday, I was introduced to the guy who heads up the single dads group at my church , Cherry Hill Community Church in Highlands Ranch, CO, that I have been wanting to get involved with. Then for the worship service, Lincoln Brewster happened to be leading us. One of the songs he led us in, he gave some background on. His son was five when he recorded this song and had his son recite some Scripture as part of the song. The passion he had talking about his sons was moving. He shared that he had a rough upbringing, and raising his sons in a wholesome environment to be godly men was one of his life goals. He was passionate about it. It touched me, deeply. I talk to my son many times in a week over the phone, and we Skype sometimes, but I miss him so much. I am thankful for my job that gives me the means to fly back to Indy every few weeks to see him, but it is still very hard, on me AND him. He is my buddy, and my personal passion in life. Having 1,100 miles between us is rough, but God has really strengthened our bond! I want to help other single dads build good bonds with their children. Guys are terrible at doing this, and I have had to teach myself how to do it. Could this be part of my calling here in CO?
A conversation with a very close buddy of mine gave me some other ideas to pursue too. I still have to be patient on God’s timing, but He has told us to diligently seek Him day in and day out. That is really what I need to be doing. My life, time, job, possessions, and resources belong to Him. I need to start pursuing practical ways to use all of those for His honor and glory.
There are a couple goals I am making for the next year. The first is to take a trip to Redding, CA. I want to visit Bethel Church badly and meet Bill Johnson. For the last two years I have felt a huge call to go there, but God has yet to open that door completely. I am going to start praying about it diligently! I want a mentor of mine to go with me. If we go, I want God to open every door needed. There is something for me out there to see, learn, or obtain, and I cannot wait to see what it is.
My second goal is to make getting involved in a youth group a priority. I have only been in CO roughly six weeks, but there is so much I wanted to have accomplished by now and this is one of them. Again, I am praying God opens the doors.
I have said before that my job has been both a blessing and pitfall for me. My need of God has deepened to the point of being bottomless, but I have learned so much about myself, such as my strengths, weaknesses, and determination, that I would not have seen so quickly any other way. I am trusting God to keep me tightly in the palm of His hand, and He is.
That is all I have for tonight. Just needed to relax and share. 🙂 Continued prayer is greatly appreciated! BUT please, please, please let me know if there is anything I can pray for you about! I care even about my readers and followers! It would be an honor and pleasure to pray for you.