Evening thoughts

Today has been one of those days that throw my mind into a frenzy. I faced one of my biggest fears this afternoon: a doctor. Everything in me absolutely hates going to a doctor. I do not trust them, nor do I want to hear negative news! Last Thursday, my jaw started acting up, and the last few days I have not been able to open my mouth hardly at all. One praise I have is that I have insurance through my job, and I was able to go get this issue and a few others I have been concerned about looked into. The doctor is afraid I have TMJ, which could mean reconstructive surgery at the worst. She is ordering a couple scans for me, so I will know in a couple weeks what exactly is going on. In the mean time, I have some pain killers and muscle relaxers to help.

The last week has been draining, and this week will be no exception, as we bust out the next two days with a 12 hour work day, not including my drive time. On a lighter note, I was able to get some new things for my condo this weekend! Bought some cookware and other dishes, so that was exciting. Oh! and I went to Goodwill and found one of those $75 electric message chairs for $8! *big-grin* I’m using right now!

During a conversation I had last week with a new friend I have made, I was asked, “What would you consider a ‘good’ Christian friend? Do you consider yourself one or do you think there are things that you could be better at?” The question both took me by surprise, and really made me think. It took me a couple days to get back to this person, but here was my reply:

I believe the best definition I have for a “good” Christian friend is one who stretches your faith. A healthy Christian relationship, whether romantic or not, is one where we challenge and stretch each other. We are suppose to sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron. If your friends to not make you a better person, challenge you, strengthen you, and build you up then you don’t have a good friend. On the reverse, if you (at some point) do not start doing that for all your friends, then you are probably not being the Christian God calls you to be. It takes time and does not happen overnight. I would like to think I am a good Christian friend, but I am not always the best friend that I am suppose to be. We all have weaknesses. 
It really got me thinking about some people in my own life, and the way that I am as well. What am I doing to love and sharpen my friends and those around me? I think for me personally, it is a process of tearing down walls that have been built, both to protect myself as well of hide from other. I think of my son’s mother. For 2.5 years we were at each others’ throat, fighting for our custody rights. Now a little over a year later, after our final verdict, some other the things I have heard her say or actions she has proposed have blown my mind! Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined such cooperation or civility. I think about a couple buddies I have. We call each other to bond, lift each other up, and pray for each other. It is amazing, and after conversations with them I feel rejuvenated. This is good! It is healthy, and encourages me in just a normal day. This is how the body of Christ was meant to function.

I had a lot more I wanted to say, but the muscle relaxers are making me feel loopy, and I may not make sense if I continue. In conclusion I would like to ask for prayer. There are some tough changes that I am considering making, and I will need strength to do it. Also, for my jaw and other health issues that I am having looked into right now, that they would come back with positively and God would touch my body with healing. 
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One thought on “Evening thoughts

  1. Eek! The more I read your posts, the more I realize you & I have a lot in common. It must be the Libras in us ;). I do not like Doctors and will not go to a Doctor unless I'm on my death bed … & even that is questionable .. ha. I know in your situation you didn't have much of a choice, but I really do hope you feel better soon. Hopefully the results come back okay & the reasons your jaw is acting up is stress related.

    Are you stressed? …

    I'm glad you answered that question for me because it put things into perspective for me. My entire life I have never had a strong network or group of Christian friends. But, what is the true definition of a Christian? I can give you a list of adjectives and descriptions of what a Christian is, but I think I'd be fooling myself in believing that I or any one else fit those characteristics.

    I am at an odd place right now. I am very conflicted about the things and people in my life at the moment. I do not have any one in my life that lifts me up or rather “sharpens” me and my faith. There is one person but I think they are only befriending me for the wrong reasons. I don't think any person in my life at the moment has pure intentions. I don't know maybe that's me being paranoid or maybe it's because the walls that I built around myself & temporarily let down are slowly finding their way up again. It's a bad cycle, but it's a cycle of contentment that I've found myself in a lot. Especially in the last five years.

    My definition of a Christian friend is someone who is there for me, someone that will listen to me, someone that will lift me up when I am down and have my doubts, someone that will hold me accountable and keep me grounded. Why is that so difficult to find?

    I've done all the things I mentioned above for other people. That's me and my personality … and yet even now after all is said and done, why is it that I am the one that has all these questions and no answers? No support. No one to talk to. God is my only refuge at the moment and sometimes that's a lonely feeling because I wonder sometimes if He really hears me.

    Be thankful you have what you do, Dave. If you are surrounded by a strong network of Christian friends and people, cherish them! Never take them for granted. You are very fortunate and I can only hope that I will one day experience the same fortune. 🙂

    God Bless!!

    Like

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