Not a day has gone by this week that I have not thought about writing this post as a way to vent on the hellacious events that have been taking place. Even up to last night, I was prepared to set focus on all the happenings of the last week to channel out my frustrations. Ironically last night I had several phone conversations that were very humbling and got me thinking on another wavelength.
One friend of mine in particular is going through a very rough time trying to figure out a housing situation. At the beginning of the week, things seemed to be lining up nicely, yet as the week progressed it fell apart. There is much more detail to the situation, but that is the gist. Last week, I needed a place to live immediately. I went to Indianapolis for the weekend, and the night of my return I went and looked at a condo. I signed a lease on that condo. Fabulous right? Sure, but I learned something very important that I was able to share with my friend last night. If we humble ourselves before God and ask Him to show up, He will not fail us. I kid you not, I was looking through house postings in the airport and was just about to shut my computer down. I refreshed the page one more time when this person’s condo add they just posted popped up. It came up about 30 seconds after I got done praying, asking God to show up big. That’s powerful.
I could almost write a book about the happenings of this week. At every turn God showed up. Every day something life altering happened, and it was only after inviting God to take charge that it was fixed. I am NOT promoting the idea that every time we have a problem God is going to fix it instantly, but I believe that God is not afraid to build our confidence in Him. Think about the story of Gideon when he asked God for a sign. I similarly asked God for a sign at some point last week.
Wednesday night I was on my long drive home from work. About half way home, I look in my rear view mirror and smoke is billowing out of the back of my Bonneville. I pulled over to discover my transmission dropped to first gear and my engine was burning up from running so high at 70 mph. I started to freak out. Here I just landed the most financially secure job I have ever had, just got established in my own condo, and now just because of a car failure I was looking at losing it all. There is no way I could bike 136 miles a day to and from work. *laughs* It took everything I had to stop my mind from racing. The thought of failing here in Colorado and having to return to Indiana was terrifying me. It was about that time God smacked me upside the head and called me out. *continues to chuckle*
God: Did I not get you here? Did I not pave the way entirely? Have I let you down at any point in this process?
Me: No, You haven’t.
God: Then please explain to me what the problem is…
Me: I am the problem.
God: Exactly. So quit focusing on yourself and what YOU do and focus on me.
Thunder and lightning crashes and flashes at this point…just kidding. I had to stop and surrender, yet again. Not only did I have to surrender then situation, but more importantly the selfish attitude I had of being in control. Sorry folks, I have a thick head and God is not done breaking me yet. I am going to make a very long story short, and just say that buy the end of the night, God provided the way for me to get another car. It was not my first choice or what I wanted, but transportation to continue walking the path He has paved.
All that to say this: without the struggles that I have faced this week, I honestly do not know if I would have been able to give my friend any encouragement or direction. God creates a unique path for each of us. Because our lives are about more than ourselves, I believe that God creates our path for the sake of others’ good as well, not just our own. It is part of loving and being a blessing to others. That is why I was so humbled yesterday. My circumstances were not just for me. This life continues to be not about myself.
This morning in my devotions, God put Psalm 18 in my path. It was a powerful reminder that when we humble ourselves before God and call out to Him, He hears us and takes action. God has called me to complete a mission. Every day that mission becomes a little more clear, but it takes baby steps (as I was recently reminded of by a good friend of mine). I get impatient so easily and want to jump the gun. In His timing all will be completed, and I need to focus on the daily lessons He has for me.
Father, you have proven yourself over and over to me this week. I feel like I have taken it for granted in a way, and I repent of that. You are so faithful, even when I am not. Thank you for your unending, never failing love. Thank you for your provision and watch-care over my life. You are the way, you are my path, you are my direction. I praise you for the constant reminders of that, even the tough ones. My prayer for this next week is that you would draw me so much closer to you than I have been in the past week. I am asking you to continue to be big. Take my big plans and make them look tiny and insignificant. Expand my borders in ways I cannot begin to fathom. I pray that you would specifically give me strength this week, especially since I will be working longer hours than usual, consuming more of my time. I ask for your sole direction and leading, that I would remain obedient to it.