What do you do when everything you are doing is tested, feels wrong, or out of nowhere takes a turn that shakes up your entire life? What attitude are we called to have when things do not turn out how we thing they should? These are tough questions, and unfortunately the answers are almost hard than the actual questions.
As I am typing this out, I am sitting on a plane headed back to Denver from a weekend excursion to Indianapolis. After a very trying and rough week, it was my hope that this past weekend would have been the exact relief I needed to rest up and regain some strength. To my dismay, it only added to the stress of my last week. On top of a $600 plane ticket, I had my Oakleys stolen, missed my return flight by two minutes, and went through the stressful process of rebooking my flight I am currently on.
For a moment though, I want to stop and praise God for a few very specific things. The first is that my stolen Oakleys, which happen to be the second pair I have lost this year, have shown me something about myself that I need to really continue working on. I was very angry about losing them. I let it ruin my day, and snapped at several people who did not deserve it. It goes to show that I still hold far too great of an importance on material things. Is not that one of my reasons for giving up everything and moving to Denver? To prove to myself that I can embrace a life of not needing things and relying fully on God for my needs. I have to humbly admit that I have not been relying on Him fully this last week. I put some needs, situations, and desires before Him. To realize this makes me very disappointed in myself, and I question my reckless abandon to Christ, but I am thankful that God is not just going to sit idly by and allow me to fall back into old ruts.
Another praise is that I was able to rebook my flight to Denver without being charged the $75 they were trying so hard to squeeze out of me. Just another reminder that even in the tight spots I get into, God already has it taken care of. In the last week I have struggled tremendously with that concept. Some very unfortunate events have taken place and it has been a struggle keeping my focus where it needs to be. Regardless, God has kept me in the palm of His hand.
On my trip out to Indy I had a pleasant surprise! The stewardess walked by me and gave me complementary Direct TV. I mean, I did pay a stupid amount for my plane ticket, so I guess you might say I deserve it. *laughs*
As I have said, it has been a difficult last week. I started my new job last Monday, and the 1.5 hour drive to work, and 2 hour drive back every day took a toll on me. God has truly blessed me with this job, and there is NO room for complaining, but facts are facts. One thing I neglected to do this week was look into activating my benefits. That in and of itself is a massive blessing!! I have had this growth on the back of my head that has had me concerned for over a year, so I am looking forward to getting that looked into. It is also high time for a good physical and routine check-up.
This week has also been emotionally rough on top of being physically taxing. Some unexpected things happened that I was not prepared to deal with, so to speak. I have no doubt though that the path in front of me is already paved, but it has put me in a funk that I cannot seem to shake. I have been praying about it, but I just do not feel like myself.
So much has happened in so little time, and I am starting to wonder if it is all moving too fast. In a way it is very exciting, but I am almost to the point of being overwhelmed. Everyone I have talked to has been astonished that I started such an amazing job in less than two weeks. They all have told me it usually takes a month and a half or more. I can only attribute it to God and the work He is doing. As time continues to progress though, I worry that my energy is going to grow far too thin to stretch between the ministry opportunities I am starting to get involved in and my twelve hour work days. I really need strength to do this.
Right before I left Indianapolis, I talked to a guy who has a condo for rent in a really nice area of Denver. I could not believe how cheap it is too! On top of it being a great price, for the Denver area anyway, the current tenant is not really interested in moving out, so I may have a roommate option to take advantage of. As soon as I land in Denver I am headed over to meet the landlord and possible “roomy.” This could cut an hour or more off my work day, and be a great opportunity to finally get settled in Denver, making it easier to call home.
That is all I really have for now. God has a plan, and even in my funk I believe that.