I apologize for not writing since reaching my new home. Quite honestly I needed to stop and catch my breathe. Since I got here, I have been bewildered sorting through the reality of change taking place. Actually it has been a struggle and discouragement to see my enthusiasm and excitement turn into fear and some anxiety. It was bad yesterday. As I looked at a few situations I started to see chaos instead of Christ.
This morning I had to surrender those fears. All are serious situations that legitimately create a level of concern, but at this point I feel frustrated I would even allow them to consume me. It honestly makes me feel stupid. It reminds me of Peter though. Remember when he was so excited to trust Christ enough to step out of the boat – his comfort zone – and walk out on the water? After a few steps of faith, he realize how insane this is and lets the fear of consume him. He turns to Christ and cries out. That is where I am. I stepped out of my comfort zone in faith, and now I see the waves that are more than willing to crash down on me and drown out the voice of Jesus.
Yet even when we stop listening to His still small voice and start listening to the howling winds, He is faithful to step in and pull us back up from drowning. There is one particular situation I am struggling with allowing myself to completely let go of. I know it would be for the best, but its difficult.
Father, hear my prayer of surrender. Give me strength to focus on you and not any given storm. You have called me by name, raising me from a disgusting pit of selfishness. I praise you for that, and ask that you would not let me forget the seriousness of that event. By your leading and provision alone you brought me to this new place! Don’t let me lose site of your path, no matter what the cost. Holy Spirit, burn within me a fire that cannot be quenched.