I really should be working right now. The bad part about an office job is that when you get bored, burned out at the end of the day it is easy to “slack off” or get wrapped up in you own thoughts. This tragedy has taken place today, and so I write. *laughs*
In the last two weeks, God has quite literally dumped out his blessings and care on my life. For quite a while now I have been asking him to show up and carry me through some difficult times I knew I was not going to be able to conquer on my own. He has been more than happy to oblige, but I have to admit that it has not been the most comfortable of arrangements.
You know how we like to ask God to show us the future and show us a path to walk? Well, I’m to a point in my life that I am glad he does not show me the whole road every time I ask. We want to know where our lives are headed, yet we throw in that little clause of not wanting to have to work hard to get there. When God actually decides to show us the way, he is very particular about showing us the tough situations we will have to conquer to get to where he wants us. Stop and think back to the most difficult time in your life. Did you never ask God to show up and deliver you or show you a way? Did he? Or did he gently take you by the hands and lead you, despite your sufferings and lashing out? Most likely the latter. If he HAD shown you what you would have to suffer through, would you have still followed his plan? Probably not, if you were completely honest with yourself.
See God understands that we are weak. He will never give us more than we can handle, including visions of our path. On the flip side, I believe that once we pass the many tests of allowing him to lead us, not only does our strength in him become stronger, but he can grant us a little more insight into our own lives. As I look over the past eight years, I can see how this is so true in my own life. I have always walked blindly, and when I get frustrated with God and let go of his hands I stumble and fail. He gently restores me every time and starts leading me again. It is through the failure of not allowing him control of our path that he toughens us for the road ahead and teaches us of his sovereignty and lordship over our lives. We learn to submit to him, becoming far less self absorbed.
God has given me a small taste of victory in him, and allowed me to see lights at the end of two particular tunnels in my life. These two tunnels have caused me much stress and grief over the last several years, and as I diligently seek and follow him and his plan, I will harvest an abundance of hope and success in my life. He has lifted me on a high rock, and established my way. For that I want to praise and thank him. I also want to seek him as my refuge, when I know I could easily stray from his master plan. These are the desires of my heart and soul, and I believe they are God-breathed.
As Christ loves me more and more each day, I cannot help but want to serve and give back to him more. Let me assure you that this is a heart change directed only by him. Even a few months ago I allowed walls to block my relationship with him, and I severely damaged myself and my relationship with him. All he asks of us is to allow HIM to tear down the walls with love and mercy, making our lives whole and new, refreshing and restoring our souls.
I look ahead over the next year or two, and at the end of that tunnel I see a light that is shining, a new found life that I have never seen before, and hope for a future serving him with EVERYTHING I have. Its exciting! But I also see that in the mean time, I am required to draw my sword and swing with mighty blows, fighting along side of him, all while mimicking his unforced rhythms of grace.
Please accept my apologies for not revealing the two tunnels. Its not that they are too personal, but rather I want to reveal his glory in my life when I reach the end of those tunnels. In the mean time, stay tuned, and listen for the words of direction that the Holy Spirit is trying to reveal to you.