I had to read chapter 4 of Crazy Love twice. It was convicting and it took a second reading to get me to be completely honest with myself. Chan asks us to take a look at our own lives and compare out actions to what God calls us to do. It was tough, and troubling.

He discussed the parable of the grain in different soils. I found this particularly intriguing because this happens to be the parable that my tattoo sleeve I’m working on is of. Chan makes a very profound statement: “Do not assume you are good soil.” Think about what he is saying. Don’t we get into our life routine and assume that as long as we are making an effort that we are in good with God? I do that. I am 100% guilty of that. I feel like I do “just enough” to get by. As Chan went into detail describing a lukewarm Christian I became angry with myself. I quickly realized that I am an underachiever and lack a Christ centered life. 

To be accurate, I would have to say that Christ is more like the moon orbiting my little world. He is what I need to see in the dark times, but when the son is out in my life, He is nowhere to be found. Fail. This book is truly blowing my mind, and strongly emphasizing what has already been late on my spiritual conscience.

The solution is this: examine every area of my life and ask, “Am I doing this for my benefit or Christ’s, and is this area strengthening or weakening my relationship with Him?” Jesus told us that we would be known by our fruit, but how abundant is my production? Sadly it’s not to the level it needs to be. Pruning hurts and is uncomfortable, but the end result is fulfilling, void of an empty feeling of hopelessness. 

We are all at different stages in our lives. There are very specific reasons we are where we are. What are those reasons? Only you can find the answer, and it’s done by simply asking Him to open your eyes to the opportunities that surround you. Take the “self” filter off your eyes, and try to see through His eyes. You will be amazed at how different your life looks. This is what I am in the process of doing, and once I got past the shame of my own selfishness, I see a light in all the dark tunnels of my life and have hope in the greater purpose I have been called to.


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